struggle of the United Provinces for their liberties, the Spaniards detached a body of forces from the main army, with the view of surprizing the town. Certain milk maid's belonging to a rich farmer in the vicinity, perceived, as they were going to milk, some soldiers concealed under the hedges. They had presence of mind to pursue their occupation without any symptoms of alarm. On their return, they informed the authority of what they had discovered. The sluices were immediately let loose, the Spaniards drowned, and the expedition defeated. The states then recompensed the girls, and perpetuated the memory of this event as above mentioned. In a war between the French and Spaniards in Flanders, a soldier being ill treated by a general officer, and struck several times with a cane, said coolly that the officer fhould soon repent of it. A fhort time after, the same officer commifsioned the colonel of the trenches to send him out a bold fellow, who for a reward would undertake a dangerous piece of work. The soldier mentioned offered his service; and taking with him thirty of his comrades, performed the work with succefs. The officer highly commended him, and gave him an hundred pistoles, the reward promised. The soldier, after distributing them among his comrades, turned to the officer and said, “I am, Sir, the soldier you abused fifteen days ago, and I told you that you would repent it." The officer melted into tears, threw his arms around the soldier's neck, begged his pardon, and gave him a commission that very day. A CORRECTION. In page 199 the colour of the elephant said to be a deep tawny approaching to black. This is rather inaccurately exprefsed. The skin itself is of an ash grey colour. The hairs dark, nearly black. At certain seasons, and in certain habits of body, the hairs that cover the skin are more or lefs numerous. Sometimes it is nearly naked, when it appears of a grey colour. Sometimes the hair nearly covers the whole skin, when it seems black. I24. THE BEE, OR LITERARY WEEKLY INTELLIGENCER, FOR WEDNESDAY, APRIL 17. 1793. LUCUBRATIONS OF TIMOTHY HAIRBRAIN. Ia News from the kingdom of Utopia. WELL Mr Printer, being just returned from one of those excursions which is my greatest solace in this life, I make haste to pay my respects to your Editorial Worship, and hope you will welcome me to my native place again: for I can assure you, that in all my travels, the benefitting this little spot of ours is the ultimate object of my wishes. But before I proceed to give you a detail of the observations I have made, and the opinions I have formed in the course of these my peregrinations, it is fit I should give you some account of the way in which I have been enabled to perform such extensive journeys as you fhall soon hear of; lest you fhould doubt my veracity; which would be a grievous disappointment to me. Although I have not made any demands on you of late, of a pecuniary nature, yet you are not from thence to conclude that I am become wealthy, in VOL. XIV. FF the general acceptation of that word;-far from it. My pockets are nearly as empty as those of old Diogenes yet, like him, I contrive too to enjoy a little of the sunshine of life; and as nothing contributes so much to my ease and content as travelling, I am sure to set out on an expedition, whenever I feel myself uneasy in any respect; and I never fail to return as cheerful and contented as you could wish. But as my purse cannot afford to pay for chaise hire, and as even horses in these dear times, are by far too expensive for my keeping, I have contrived to travel in a much more expeditious, as well as a lefs expensive and much more commodious manner, in a vehicle called an ELBOW CHAIR, which has been on many former occasions employed by others like myself in very extensive peregrinations. The country I have thus visited is one of the most delightful that can be conceived. It does not, like Palestine, abound with milk and honey only, but it pofsef es an infinity of other blessings which can be found in no other part of the world. Its women are all beautiful, virtuous, and wise; its men are learned, temperate, humane; its birds are all harmonious, and beasts innocent. This inchanting country was first visited in modern times by Sir Thomas More, who called it UTOPIA; and the. learned Bacon afterwards undertook a voyage to the same country, under the name of the ISLAND OF SOLOMON. It had certainly, however, been known of old by some of the Jewish prophets, who describe it in exact terms, when they represent the men as sitting in a state of perpetual peace, each under the fhade of his own fig tree, and eating the fruit of his own vine; the wolf and the lamb playing together, and the innocent child putting his hand. in safety into the cockatrice den; for it is in that happy country alone, that phenomena of this sort are ever experienced. The ancient Scandinavians too seem to have been well acquainted with it, which they have clearly described under the name of FLATH-INNIS. Plato also paid this delightful country a visit, under the name of the FORTUNATE İSLANDS. The garden of the Hesperides too is but a faint description of the same; from which Homer borrowed some of the traits in his description of the gardens of Alcinuous. These notices will I hope convince both you and your readers, that what I am about to describe of this happy country, and the mode of getting accefs to it, is no fiction of my own; but a true and genuine account of a place which has existed in a state of perpetual felicity, for upwards of two thousand years, during which time it has been occasionally visited by many of the prophets, philosophers, and poets, in ancient and in modern times. I was first made acquainted with the proper mode of travelling to this country, and of obtaining accefs to it by means of a Highland Seer, a native of the island of Iona, on whom I had conferred some favours that he valued highly; in return for which he communicated the secret in confidence, and made me a present on his death bed of a cap of much more value than either the red cap of liberty, or the white cap of royalty. It is a tartan cap of curious texture, made, as the Seer afsured me, by the hands. of the Weird Sisters themselves, the manufacture of which ladies Gray has celebrated with infinite energy. Weave the warp, and weave the woof, The characters of Hell to trace.- This cap, the work of such superior artists, is pofsefsed of the enviable power of rendering the wearer of it invisible. He conferred upon me at the same time an elbow chair, of such curious structure that whoever sits in it, after performing certain magical rites, in which he was very expert, and took great pains to instruct me, can be transported into the kingdom of UTOPIA when he pleases. Pofsefsed of these treasures you can easily conceive that I have the command of a vast fund of enjoyment, in which I so frequently indulge as tends to keep me in an habitual state of good humour that I never could have otherwise attained. Having been, however, not a little chagrined by some crofs accidents I met with on the 20th day of the third month of the present year, vulgarly called March, I retired to my chamber at six o'clock in the evening, and feeling myself vexed, I resolved immediately to have recoure to the usual panacea. Materials having been provided for performing the sacred rites, and the cap put upon my head, the smoking liquor, after having been warmed before |
